Monday, May 21, 2007

I Like My Greens The Way I Like My Women

Hot, quick, and easy, of course.

I envy Simon’s passion and patience—the way he lovingly cares for his collards and kale, infusing them with a precise blend of spices probably ground by hand, massaging every leaf clean, and cooking to perfection—but sometimes you don’t have the time or energy for all of that foreplay. I offer two quick green ideas as a counterpoint, a complement, a quickie to his honeymoon.

One For The Top Of The Stove...
Ok, so this is essentially a stripped down version of Simon’s, I admit it.
-Wash and chop into bite-sized pieces
-Heat a bit of olive oil in a large skillet (or pot, or wok, I don’t care). When it’s hot throw in some garlic. And yes, I love the pre-minced kind you buy at the store; it’s always ready for some action. Cook it all a bit.
-Throw in the greens, stems first if you aren’t as lazy as I am, and cook, stirring, over medium-high or so. I really couldn’t tell you how long it takes. They’ll wilt but stay bright green.
-While the leaves are wilting, grind some salt and pepper into the mix, plus a little heat if you choose (cayenne is nice). I like cumin in everything.
-When it’s done, turn off the heat and throw in some acid. Lemon juice works well, so does vinegar. ‘Tis all.

And One For The Bottom…
Roasted Kale is nearly orgasmic. Thank you, Michael Pollan.
-Wash, separate the stems from the leaves, and chop.
-Heat the oven to 450 degrees, the hotter the better.
-On a sheet pan, spread out the bite size leaves of the kale, spray lightly with olive oil and season. Salt and Pepper are, of course, essential, but again, add whatever the hell you want. I’m a sucker for red pepper flakes, as un-gourmet as they are.
-Stick it in the over and roast until crispy, and eat with your fingers. Only with your fingers. Nice with some vinegar thrown on top too.

1 comment:

Elijah said...

Indeed, Simon is a giving and nurturing lover, the kind of girl we all want to marry.

But all the true gangstas knoowooowooowoooow, Jen ain't never love no hos.