Mistakes Were Made

“You just can’t fuck up eggs! You cant!” –Elijah Kinch Spector

Eli and I were working on a dry-run for IT, the pesach dessert. It involved beating egg whites into peaks, and the first time around we failed miserably. The eggs were overbeaten, and we were left with three cups of goopy sweetened egg-froth.

This egg-froth was greenmarket in origin, so we didn’t just want to throw it out. But we just didn’t know what to do with them. We beat the egg yolks and folded them into the whites, and then added some melted chocolate. Still nothing. After staring blankly at the froth for a while (taking copious samples for inspiration) we came up with a couple of plans:

1: throw it in the oven.
2: drink it.

The first option turned into an accidental soufflé. The second turned into a cocktail.

Chocolate-Egg Froth Base:

5 eggs
½ teaspoon salt
1 ¼ c sugar
1/3 c bittersweet chocolate

• Separate the whites from the yolks.
• Overbeat the whites until they reach the consistency of whipped cream.
• Beat the yolks, and fold them into the whites.
• Melt chocolate.
• Temper chocolate with 1/3 of the meringue. Fold the chocolate mixture into the rest of the foam.

Definitely a successful mistake:

Accidental Souffle:

Chocolate-Egg Froth Base

• Preheat oven to 265.
• Pour the foam into baking dishes: ramekins, or a small casserole dish. Place the dishes on a cookie sheet, and the cookie sheet in the oven.
• Bake until its done. The time will depend on the size of the dishes, but they should take at least 30 mins. You will know when they are done by the smell. Too little time in the oven, and the middle of the soufflé will be a little goopy. Too much, and it will smell a little eggy. In either case, it will be delicious.

Louis XIV drank this when he chased ribbon-pigs:

Cloches de Pâques:

6 parts Chocolate-Egg Froth Base
12 parts milk or cream
1 part Coffee Liquor
1 part vodka
Splash of Crème de Menthe

• Pour milk, coffee liquor, vodka, and crème de menthe into small glass. Pour froth on top. Mix lightly with a spoon. Drink, and try not to think about your arteries hardening.

Note: This recipe was made with Greenmarket eggs, which are (presumably) not subject to the environmental stresses of industrial eggs. The likelihood of salmonella infection is negligible to begin with, but it is virtually non-existent in this case. Use either farm-eggs or organic eggs for this recipe (it will taste better), and don't worry about it. If you really want to worry about something, worry about auto accidents—they're a lot more likely to hurt you than salmonella is.